Fear, Faith, and ADHD

For years Shelby has been taking medication for ADHD. Six weeks into first grade it became clear that he had some learning issues. As we began to do test seeking a diagnosis we were immediately told that he had ADHD and he needed medication. We refused to put him on medication and fought this diagnosis for over a year. Then one day while I was sitting with Shelby as he read I realized that eyes darted to and fro as he tried to read. He simply could not focus on the words. It was then that I knew he needed help. Medication made a HUGE difference in his ability to focus and learn and for the past 9 years it has been a normal part of his life.

When we knew that God was calling us to Thailand you can imagine that one of my first questions was about whether or not we would be able to get Shelby’s medication. We soon learned that his medication is not available but we were told that we could bring in medications with us as long as we have a letter from a doctor. “Great!” I thought. We will just bring what we need.

A few weeks ago I began the research to find out exactly what was involved with bringing a year’s supply into the country.  It was thenI found out that Shelby’s medication is considered a class 2 drug which means not only is it unavailable in Thailand but you CANNOT bring it into the country, either. What?!? So now, we asking Shelby to adjust to a new school, new country and new culture without his medication. 

When this reality hit I panicked. I thought we can’t do this. It is way too much to ask. How could we do this to him? This is a setting him up for disaster! As I began to pray (it was really complaining), God answered, “Have faith.” What do you mean, have faith? This makes no sense! Then it hit me…walking by faith most often DOES NOT MAKE SENSE.

I want to be a woman of faith. I want to follow God in every way, but when that journey of faith interferes with what I think is best for my kids my resolve is replaced with hesitation and fear. I can let go of my life but letting go of my children is another story.

The bottom line is Shelby will be going off his medication and life will be different. I am scared but I am trusting that God’s got this. This detail has not caught God by surprise. He has known this from the beginning. I am asking God to do something amazing. I have no idea what the next year is going to look like and honestly I am still a little anxious. My fear is not gone but I am choosing to trust. I will walk by faith and believe that a year from now the fear will be replaced with praise for all that God has done.