Mustard Seed Memoirs: Testosterone

You can't see the snakes head because it's flicking its tongue at me!

Shortly after arrival, we were experiencing what the Forongs (Foreigners) call the Thai tummy. Basically our digestive tracks were adjusting to a different bacterial flora in our new country. We had been sequestered at home for several days and finally on day four everyone was feel a little better and somewhat stir-crazy. It was time to get out of the house!

We had yet to do anything “fun” so we hopped in the truck with a map and determination. We located an area that was full of tourist type venues. Being that my children are not of sound mind and completely snake crazy they decided a snake show was what we needed to see. Me, being a mom of three boys, agreed with their decisions. I learned long ago that you can’t fight testosterone. There were numerous shows to choose from but when we saw a sign that one of the snake shows had been attended by “John Rambo,” aka Sylvester Stallone, the decision was made (yeah, it’s that testosterone thing again).

We arrived just as one show was concluding so we were escorted around the snake cages by a Thai young man that told us he was a good boy scout. Boy Scout told us about the different snakes in the cages. He was very informative and funny. He took a ball python out for us to hold. Needless to say, I did not hold it. I must let my boys be boys but I’m still a girl. This fact became very clear when we took a family photo while holding the snake. I made a mistake and stood by the snakes head. It kept looking and flicking its tongue at me. It gave me the willies! Yes, the boys enjoyed my squeamish attitude but the icing on the cake was when Boy Scout handed my camera back to me. Upon my black camera was a black scorpion the size of a Chihuahua! I SCREAMED LIKE A GIRL!! All of the males in my family laughed till they couldn’t see straight and then took turns wearing the scorpion as if it were a brooch! (See insane photos below)

We took our seats in the arena and the snake show began. First they pulled out three Thai cobras each a couple feet long and played with them. They taunted the snakes and then pulled back just out of reach as they struck. They touched their heads and pushed them over. They even kissed them between their beady little eyes. My boys were in awe, I was horrified!

After the Thai cobras they brought out big daddy, the King Cobra. He was just a youth at 8 feet long. Raised up, his head stood a good two, two and a half feet of the ground. They played with him as well but with a different attitude. After several minutes and many photo opportunities the snake struck at the handler with too much accuracy. The handler looked at the crowd and said, “It’s time to put him up!”

It was a fun time. The boys were happy they had been so close to something that dangerous and I was happy that we had all survived. It is hard for me to understand why on earth anyone would want to play with a snake. I guess it’s that testosterone thing again. It makes boys crazy and it keeps their mamma screaming like a girl!